Like any romantic relationship, it takes work and communication. And while most lesbians can benefit from universal relationship advice, there are also unique challenges and gifts that come with a new lesbian romance.
It’s common for two women who hit it off to start a relationship right away and even live together within a month. But that chemistry shouldn’t blind you to your own needs.
1. Don’t confuse the two
Lesbians have a tendency to put their relationships into high gear from the start, especially when a connection is made. This can be partly due to hormones like oxytocin that encourage deep bonding and encourage women to build relationships quickly.
Despite this, it is important not to confuse a friendship with a romantic relationship. It can be difficult to distinguish the difference between the two when two women are bonded, but it is important to make sure that there is clarity from the beginning of a relationship.
Getting confused about this can lead to a whole lot of hurt down the road. It’s best to be honest and ask your partner if they are interested in more than just a friend hang-out. It will save you a lot of pain and headache in the long run!
2. Don’t treat ’em mean
The age-old dating mantra “treat her mean to keep her keen” doesn’t really work for lesbians. A woman who feels she isn’t the catch you think she is may walk away and find someone else who doesn’t play games with her.
You’ve probably heard of women blowing hot and cold with their suitors by acting aloof, flirting with other men, or even letting a call divert to voicemail. These are classic playing hard to get tactics that make many suitors turn away.
Ultimately, love is love, and a secure attachment is the basis for every healthy relationship. Lesbians and same sex couples should be no different. That means treating a partner with respect and kindness – but not meanness. Love is a gift that deserves to be received with gratitude.
3. Don’t stay in the friend zone
It’s easy to get swept away in the moment and believe that your new friend will instantly feel the same way about you. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case.
Often, when a lesbian is interested in someone, she can end up being stuck in the “friend zone.” This happens when you try to take things further but they don’t respond in the same way.
When this happens, it’s important to be honest. If you aren’t interested romantically, don’t be afraid to say so! Having these conversations is never easy, but it will help avoid the friend zone. Instead, try focusing on compassion. This includes listening to her problems and helping her through hard times. And remember, compliments go a long way! Especially from a friend.
4. Don’t be afraid to make the first move
Although we live in a much more progressive time, it’s still common to feel intimidated by asking someone out. But don’t let that hold you back. Just make sure you’re clear with your intentions from the get-go — this is key for any relationship.
Also, it’s important to keep communication open. This is just as true for lesbian couples as it is for heterosexual ones. For example, it’s helpful to talk about how each of you feels most loved. Maybe one of you is more into acts of service, while the other prefers words of affirmation.
Lastly, don’t forget to celebrate the small wins! That can be anything from taking a walk after dinner to making pizza together on Friday night. These little rituals help maintain your connection and can make the love even sweeter.
5. Don’t be afraid to ask a lesbian out over text
It’s not unusual for two women who hit it off on a first date to start dating immediately or even move in together within a month. This is partly due to chemistry: Women release the love hormone oxytocin in large quantities when they feel a connection, and it encourages deep bonding.
However, it’s important to remember that this isn’t the same as settling. While a loving relationship can be extremely rewarding, it’s important to maintain your independence. Moreover, it’s also important to learn how to show your partner how much you care. For example, if your partner prefers acts of service over words of affirmation, try to meet their needs accordingly. This will help you strengthen your relationship. Alternatively, couples therapy has been shown to be an effective tool for addressing issues that arise in relationships.